Cast, trailer, plot and everything we know so far

With the recent rise in popularity of stand-up comedy, thanks largely to the fact that it’s more accessible than ever through streaming, is one of the biggest names to be popularized and celebrated Bert Kreischer. Best known for ripping his shirt off on stage and sipping Kool-Aid from a 16-ounce water bottle, Screecher is popular in the comedy world for the lovable party animal personality he’s known for created himself. Arguably his most famous story is how he got his nickname “The Machine” while he was on a college field trip to Russia, and the part became so legendary that Kreischer decided it was time to turn that story into a feature film to transfer. Appropriately titled The machinethe film follows Screecher, who plays himself as he returns to Russia years after his college days, only to find that his actions that fateful night have led to dire consequences, namely the creation of a ruthless crime syndicate.

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Although Bert Kreischer’s close friend and co-host of the 2 punches, 1 cave podcast Tom Segura confirmed that the iconic Machine story is (largely) true, this new film will be entirely fictional, turning Screecher (maybe) into a full-blown action star. The film is already in the post-production phase, but many details have not yet been announced. For everything we know so far about Bert Kreischer’s next trip to the Motherland, read below to find out.

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Image via Netflix

Also see: Movies like ‘The Big Lebowski’ for more laid back action comedy, man


What exactly is the machine story?

Obviously Bert Kreischer is the one who tells this story best and there are plenty of clips online of him telling the story if you want to hear it for yourself, but here’s a quick synopsis:

It all started when Kreischer randomly chose a Russian course during his studies. According to him, the professor really wanted to keep students, gave only positive grades, and finally planned a semester in Russia. The areas where the classes were held were all places controlled by different families of the Russian mob, so protection was hired in the form of paid gangsters. Unexpectedly, Kreischer made a connection with the gangsters, saying the few words in Russian he actually knew: “I am the machine”. And so a legend was born. Finally, one day, Screecher and the gangsters robbed practically everyone on a train ride, which is the trigger for the events in the film. Check out the video in the player above to hear the story in Kreischer’s own words.

Watch the trailer for The Machine

On the occasion of his 50th birthday and the anniversary of the Machine story, Bert Kreischer posted the first teaser trailer for The machine on his personal YouTube channel. Most of the trailer is narrated by Irina (Iva Babić), the daughter of one of the men who stole Bert and his newfound gangster friends on that train all those years ago. What Screecher stole was a pocket watch that was so sentimental to the then-legitimate businessman that it inspired the man to become the leader of a crime family unlike anything Russia had ever seen, and was feared and respected across the country. Irina tells the story completely bluntly, none of it is played for laughs (while also briefly teasing Markus Hamill‘s character) until we see that the man she’s talking to is none other than Bert Kreischer, who comes to the realization that he’s Irina’s origin story.

Then the film’s neon-laced title card hits the screen, followed by Screecher’s gunfire and shelling to intense effect. The trailer ends with Screecher performing an impromptu surgery on an injured Irina, showing once again that he’s not used to being a hard-nosed action star. A very strong first trailer, but missing only one crucial thing: a release date.

Does the machine have a release date?

Although the film has fully completed filming and is currently in post-production, the film’s distributor, Legendary Entertainment, has not yet announced a release schedule for The machine Now. As an independent passion project by Kreischer and the crew, The machine will probably be screened at festivals once it’s finished. Since there’s no release date, we also don’t know if it’ll be streamed or shown in theaters, but Bert’s trailer description seems to indicate that they’re looking for a theatrical release.

What is the plot of the machine?

Rather than being a direct adaptation of the story from Kreischer’s stand-up routine, the events of the machine take place after the events described in the comedy. The official synopsis is as follows:

Bert’s drunk past catches up with him 20 years later when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago when he was drunk during a college semester in Russia.

That said, it’s not like we won’t be adapting the original story at all, as we get glimpses of a young Bert played by him Jimmy Tatro (Is that perfect casting, or what?) on that now infamous trailer train ride.

Also see: Jimmy Tatro talks about 22 JUMP STREET, how he got into the film, his relationship with the other characters, fauxhawks, his YouTube series and his college fandom

Who is in the cast of The Machine?

Screecher is the star of the show here, but given that this is his first feature film, he’ll likely enjoy a strong supporting cast. Stand-up comic fans were thrilled to learn that Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill (war of stars), would join the project in a hysterical announcement video, in which Hamill announces his “top secret” project while Bert drinks shirtless in the background. Hamill is reportedly playing an over-the-top version of Bert’s father, Albert Kreischer.

Iva Babic (The last Serb in Croatia) will also have a major supporting role in the film and will be directed by Jimmy Tatro (American vandal), Martin Ford (F9: The Swift Saga), Jess Gabor (shameless), Mercedes de la Cruz (Bates Motel), Robert Maser (1917), Amelie Kind Villiers (The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power), and Stephanie Kurtzuba (The Irishman).

Who builds the machine?

In addition to starring in the film, Kreischer will serve as executive producer, leading the creative team in the director’s role Peter Atencio (Keanu). Although the story will be adapted by Kreischer himself, co-writers are writing the screenplay for the film Kevin Biegel (Cougar Town) and Scotty country (workaholic).

The rest of the crew is rounded out by the composer Joseph Trapanes (The greatest showman), Camera operator Eigil Bryld (In Bruges), Editors Eleanor Infante (late night), production designer Aaron Osborne (Kiss kiss bang bang) and costume designer Ivana Wasic (The deal). Full list of credited producers and executive producers includes Maxim AyjawiPeter Atencio, Kale Boyter, Jonathan English, Natalie Haack Flores, Judi Marble, Reg Tigerman, Valerie Fluger Veras, Philip Waleyand Sergey Yahontov. The machine is produced by Shaken Not Stirred and Balkanic Media. Check this link for the full crew credits.

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