Buffalo punished for collective sins, Newsome out, more craziness

Enough snow for you?
Enough snow for you? (Photo: Getty)

Good morning Cleveland Browns fans!

It’s November 19, 2022 and the madness continues. Say what you will about the Browns in the expansion era; one cannot complain about a lack of weird admixture to (mostly bad) football.

Of course, this week’s weirdness is generated by Mother Nature’s vengeance on the city of Buffalo for sins unknown to us. Whatever they did must have really offended the deity who controls the weather because they were smothered under an incredible, record-breaking amount of snow.

When the snowfall is record-breaking buffalo, then you know that we are dealing with something really extraordinary. This is like Lovecraftian/Stephen King territory with tentacled monsters from ID dropping snow on innocent civilians. Something very strange is going on.

Still, I imagine that every possible government resource in this area is now focused on the essentials. No, not making sure people have electricity, water and food… my goodness. You have plenty of water; tons of them are piled up around them. Unfortunately, you can’t light snow for warmth first. That’s what the furniture is for.

No, I’m sure the energies of the local football-obsessed population of Buffalo, New York are focused on making sure Bills players today can get in some kind of tank, dog sled, or snowmobile and take their butts to the airport with them can make the flight to Detroit. There are probably 500 volunteers in parkas trying to dig up Josh Allen’s driveway as we speak.

I’m not worried about the Bills making it to Detroit. I’m sure they will somehow.

What really worries me is what they’re going to do to our poor Browns when they get there. The orange-and-brown squad, fresh from a beatdown in Miami where they couldn’t stop a four-year-old in a tricycle from gaining five yards down center, is now down with Greg Newsome and one of their starting fullbacks doesn’t seem to be in central defense to be better than last weekend. This could get ugly, although the Bills are leaving several key players for the game (see below).

Meanwhile, Twitter continues to be the center of attention as people wait for it to blow up or something, fans not trapped under a half-mile of snow try to get to Detroit and secure tickets, and Myles Garrett has some interesting things to say.

Just another day in Believeland where we just have to believe everything that happens to us.

Let it be well with you! GO BROWN!!


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